In his TED talk Alain de Botton discussed the notion of success and how tradegy can impact that notion. The most inspiring element of his lecture was his insistence that each individual's success can look completely different. In today's modern world we often picture a successful person as a well dressed, put together, wealthy character who has a substantial amount of status and/or power. Society begins to imbed in its children the belief that everybody must work to be successful in this manner. "Work hard in school, participate in extracurriculars, get into a good university, work hard in college, get a good job, work hard at that job, get a promotion, make a lot of money, become somebody's boss." This is the mantra that is whispered in to the ears of many young people. Those things listed are admirable goals but is that really the only version of success we can accept? If every member of society attained that type of success who would teach our kids or assemble our cars? The truth is we need people to aspire to various versions of success. Thinking in a less selfish manner, should happiness not play some part in the ideal version of success?
If we look at two hypothetical individuals could we really decide who is more successful?
1) Diane Smith: salutatorian of her high school class, president of her senior class, participated in her school's volunteer organization, captain of the swim team, accepted into University of Michigan undergrad, maintained exemplary grades, participated in many clubs on campus, accepted to Harvard Law School, did extraordinarily well, graduated top of her class, got hired immediately as an associate at a big name law firm, worked her way up to partner, married another lawyer, bought big a house, spent a majority of her life doing excellent work as an attorney.
2) John Wilson: graduated middle of his high school class, played basket ball for his school, accepted into Central Michigan University undergrad, maintains a "B" average, joins a fraternity, earns his teaching degree, graduates and spend a year in search of a job, gets hired as a 4th grade elementary teacher, marries his high school sweetheart, has 2 kids and a cabin on the lake, uses his summers to spend time with his family, lives simply but happily.
Who is more successful? I believe the purpose of Alain de Botton's talk was to say that that would be a completely unfair question. Each person's version of success has to be their own or they will find themselves middle-aged and profoundly unhappy. Diane's hard work does not make her a cold, unfeeling person, just as John's modest life style does not make him a failure. Diane would be completely unsatisfied with John's choices just as hers would have made him totally miserable. If either tried to fit into the other's mold their un would become a tragedy within itslef. Every individual must search themselves and decide what success will look like for them, and them alone.
Alain de Botton ties in tragedy to this philosophy when talking about perceived success. He discusses this when he says something like this about Hamlet "It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser, he is not a loser thought he has lost." That point of view made me realize that success is not the absence of tragedy. Tragic events will strike people without bias or prejudice. Cancer doesn't care how much money you make or how many people count on you. The truck driver who falls asleep on the high way isn't going to pick out the car with the asshole in it to crush. The terrorist isn't doesn't consider how successful his victims are. Some form of tragedy will be felt by all humans at some point during the course of their lives but it is true that tragic events aren't distributed equally. For some unknown reason some people get more than their fair share of the pain stored in this world. These horrific circumstances don't affect the level of success a person has or could have. Success is not the absence of tragedy. It may sound cliche but what I believe Alain de Botton was trying to communicate is the belief that if you follow your heart to your unique version of success, it doesn't matter what tries to knock you down, you can still achieve the happiness that true success can bring.
If we look at two hypothetical individuals could we really decide who is more successful?
1) Diane Smith: salutatorian of her high school class, president of her senior class, participated in her school's volunteer organization, captain of the swim team, accepted into University of Michigan undergrad, maintained exemplary grades, participated in many clubs on campus, accepted to Harvard Law School, did extraordinarily well, graduated top of her class, got hired immediately as an associate at a big name law firm, worked her way up to partner, married another lawyer, bought big a house, spent a majority of her life doing excellent work as an attorney.
2) John Wilson: graduated middle of his high school class, played basket ball for his school, accepted into Central Michigan University undergrad, maintains a "B" average, joins a fraternity, earns his teaching degree, graduates and spend a year in search of a job, gets hired as a 4th grade elementary teacher, marries his high school sweetheart, has 2 kids and a cabin on the lake, uses his summers to spend time with his family, lives simply but happily.
Who is more successful? I believe the purpose of Alain de Botton's talk was to say that that would be a completely unfair question. Each person's version of success has to be their own or they will find themselves middle-aged and profoundly unhappy. Diane's hard work does not make her a cold, unfeeling person, just as John's modest life style does not make him a failure. Diane would be completely unsatisfied with John's choices just as hers would have made him totally miserable. If either tried to fit into the other's mold their un would become a tragedy within itslef. Every individual must search themselves and decide what success will look like for them, and them alone.
Alain de Botton ties in tragedy to this philosophy when talking about perceived success. He discusses this when he says something like this about Hamlet "It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser, he is not a loser thought he has lost." That point of view made me realize that success is not the absence of tragedy. Tragic events will strike people without bias or prejudice. Cancer doesn't care how much money you make or how many people count on you. The truck driver who falls asleep on the high way isn't going to pick out the car with the asshole in it to crush. The terrorist isn't doesn't consider how successful his victims are. Some form of tragedy will be felt by all humans at some point during the course of their lives but it is true that tragic events aren't distributed equally. For some unknown reason some people get more than their fair share of the pain stored in this world. These horrific circumstances don't affect the level of success a person has or could have. Success is not the absence of tragedy. It may sound cliche but what I believe Alain de Botton was trying to communicate is the belief that if you follow your heart to your unique version of success, it doesn't matter what tries to knock you down, you can still achieve the happiness that true success can bring.